Thursday, October 05, 2006

control

This relates to yesterday's post.

This morning when my alarm went off (5:45 is so early.....) I was woken from a DEAD sleep and deep dream. It was one of those dreams that you don't want to wake up from. Not because it is a fabulous dream - quite the opposite - because it's such a stressful dream that you want to make sure everything is resolved before you wake up. So much for that....

Anyway, without typing out everything that happened in the dream, I'll touch on 3 parts (which interestingly enough were totally related in the dream.....)

In the dream I was at a convention - a huge convention (not sure what for...). At one of the booths that was selling jewelry they had out some glasses of what I thought was sparkling cider. But it was alcohol and after I took one sip I freaked out because I thought that one sip was going to make me drunk. I was so afraid of being drunk in a public place and totally out of control that I ran around the convention (totally lost) trying to find an elevator to take me up to my hotel room.

I finally found an elevator and got in it with several other people. This elevator was different though - it didn't just go up and down, it started to go around the building - with glass looking out over things. Then all of a sudden the glass opens up and the elevator cart (is that what you'd call it....?) turns into a big cage/rollercoaster. Somehow everyone else in the cart ended up in seatbelts, but I was frantically trying to put mine on before I flew around the cage/rollercoaster car. I couldn't control where I was going, or what was going on around me....(are we seeing a theme here?)

Then after a bunch of other things happened we got to the end of the dream. I was standing outside of this convention center with a bunch of animals. It was like a petting zoo with lots of big wild African animals (like the ones we saw on our safari on my trip). They weren't in cages or anything though - they were all just out and about. They asked for some help in bringing the animals back into the convention center and I offered to help (apparently the sip of alcohol I had didn't make me drunk.....). We got all of the animals inside and I went out to check to make sure there wasn't anything left outside. I look to my right and one of the zoo keepers is screaming and running for his life. He yells at me to run inside, but the door is locked and I can't get in. I look behind him and he's being chased by this HUGE, ravenous lion. The lion gets to us as we're trying to get inside and starts clawing at us, biting us - attacking us. We get the door open and when we go in the whole room is full of ravenous lions that are going to eat us.....

And that's when I was so rudely woken up by that darn alarm.

So - how does that relate to my last post? Well I was trying to think why I would be so anxious and exhausted by a dream, and I realized that the dream was telling me something (something I already kind of knew)....I feel out of control. Sure, I'm not on a roller coaster, getting lost in a convenion center, having to worry about getting drunk (which by the way - I might not know a lot about drinking, but I do know that one sip wouldn't get me drunk), or worrying about being chased by wild animals - but I do feel like I'm running, and I'm not keeping up.

Interesting how our dreams can really talk to us - isn't it?

Well I'm off to be productive, and try really hard not to get caught by any large, hungry lions. Have a great day!

2 comments:

april said...

YUCK!! hate dreams like that! :( but at least you were able to make some sense of it instead of letting it eat at you all day (no pun intended) I tend to let dreams like that eat at me and never find what the "message" is. Hate that.

The Rhiens said...

So, if one of those big fierce lions comes at you again, try not to run from it. Stop, talk to it. Analyze it. Maybe it is just a big playful kitty and you can stop and play with it for awhile. Maybe it is frightened, too and you can talk to it and reason with it and send it on its way. Maybe it is clawing at you because it is excited to see you and you can give it a little love and affirmation and that's all it takes. Maybe after closer observation you will see that it really is out to get you...turn and run from that one. I'm getting a little crazy here, but I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes, upon closer observation we can see that our challenges aren't what we think they are. Sometimes they are blessings in disquise. Sometimes we see that they are a bit scary at first, but the better we get to know them the more we realize it isn't what we thought it was and it really isn't anything to be scared off by. Sometimes they look insurmountable, but then we realize that with a few minutes time and attention they really aren't as big of a deal as we had feared. Now, sometimes we come across the big ones--the really scary ones. We can stay and fight it out or turn and find a way to get away.

OK, enough analogy. Just hang in there. Stop and analyze what you could be doing more effectively. Decide what is most important and let some things go. You will find that some weren't that important anyway and the ones that are will rise to the top and you will take care of them. You are amazing, Joanna! You are one of the most take-charge kind of people I know. Give yourself credit for all you do in a day. Take the time each day to stop and enjoy your relationship with Cory and to love little Gabe to death. He will only be little once, and believe me, it passes by all too quickly.

Be at peace! I love you!

Mom