Grateful and Blessed

We have some special friends - Trent and Melissa Cheney.  Cory and Trent were best friends in high school, I met Cory through Trent (he was a friend of my roommate's), and Melissa and I hit it off right away before they got married.  We have gone through all kinds of things together and they have been a blessing in our lives.

As we struggled with infertility before having Gabe Trent and Melissa were struggling.  We've gone through college experiences, being young married couples, moving, trips together - we have thought of them more as family even than as friends.

So after Naia was born - their sweet little 6 year old - and Trent and Melissa started struggling to get pregnant again our hearts started to break.  They are amazing parents and wanted nothing more than to be able to add to their family.  They made all kinds of attempts, tried to adopt - and prayed a lot.  We all did, we all wanted them to have more kids. 

And so today when I got a text forwarded to me from Cory that said, "She's here! She's 7 lbs 11 ounces.  All are doing well." tears came to my eyes.  I am so happy for Trent and Melissa - and can't wait for Naia to get to be a big sister.  So congratulations and welcome to Kimbree - we can't think of a better family for you to be a part of!

Trials & the Storms of Life

I'm sure that many of us (if not all of us reading this) have had trials and storms in our lives where we've responded with the question, "WHY ME?????"  Now I don't think that necessarily asking this is a bad thing.  I think that if we wallow, and we dwell on it, and we suffer unneccessarily it can be a bad thing - but I think that if we take that question and turn it around a little bit we can learn a lot in each and every trial - even in the middle of the trial and not just looking back. 

Instead of asking "Why me?" ask "What can I learn?".

I've thought about this a lot recently and I've found a few key reasons I experience trials and I thought I'd pass them along and share them with anyone else they might help.  I feel that going through difficulty and trials can be for the following reasons:

Developing Empathy and Compassion - Many of my trials haven't necessarily been directly for me in a typical way.  Many of my trials I'm finding have been so that I can understand other people better.  Once I've gone through something, or done something maybe I shouldn't have done - I understand others so much better.  The idea of "walking around in someone else's shoes" has a lot of merit and truth.  If we think of our Savior and how he truly understands our weaknesses and struggles - it's because through the Atonement he has actually experienced them.  As we go through hard times much of it is so we can develop an understanding and empathy for others.  We all have such vastly different lives and by experiencing a little bit about others we grow closer I believe.

Trials Help Us to Not Judge Others - Going along with the last one of developing empathy and compassion as we do that we begin to judge others less.  As I struggle with something and hope that others will not judge me as I struggle I hope to remember that later on so I don't do likewise and judge others unfairly.  For instance - after we struggled with infertility for years and years I have learned not to judge other people on the spacing and timing of their children.  For all I know they have tried getting pregnant for years.  We had many, many people make comments about how it must be nice to be waiting to have kids until we owned a house, finished school, had a career - all things that were nice, but we longed for a baby much more than we ever longed for a 3 bedroom home of our own....I've tried not to judge others on how they spend their money, how they discipline their children, or how they get along with their spouse.  I hope that we will all work on not judging people all around - but especially in situations where we know nothing about their experiences.

We Need to Learn to Forgive Others - I look back and see several times in my life where I have been hurt or wronged by someone else.  I have been hurt, angry, said I would NEVER do that to someone else and I would never be able to forgive that person.  Well I think we should "never say never" because I have also had experiences where I swore I'd never be - and needed other people's forgiveness.  How can I expect someone else to forgive me for something I haven't been able to forgive another for?    Going through trials gives us extra opprotunties to forgive others.

We Go Through Trials So We May Strengthen Others - I have had a couple of exerpiences and confirmations recently that trials I have gone through weren't just for my benefit - but for others as well.  There are many ways this can happen - when we struggle and others serve us - they are blessed.  When we struggle and are good examples of learning as we pass through those trials - we bless others.  When we struggle and learn we can be there for others so they do not feel alone as they struggle.  When we pave the way by "learning the hard way" sometimes others won't have to struggle the same way we have.  I think of the pioneers and early leaders of the church and how I have learned invaluable lessons because of experiences they had and lessons they learned.  I hope that I am able to handle my trials and lessons in a way that can bless others both now and in the future.

We Have Trials So We Can Draw Closer To Our Heavenly Father - I remember a conversation I had with a dear friend several years ago.  We were just getting to know each other and were sharing our experiences with infertilty before having our families.  We were both sharing things we had learn as we struggled through and how looking back we were so grateful for those experiences.  She said, "At times I actually kind of miss being in the middle of that trial.  Does that sound crazy?  I just felt so close to my Heavenly Father as I leaned on Him for understanding and strength."  So true!  When we are in the depths of heartache and struggles - if we will rely on our Heavenly Father and the infinite strength and peace He gives us - the middle of our trials can really be a peaceful and beautiful place.  I will question myself when I begin a new trial and kind of take stock of where I am at with my relationship with my Heavenly Father - often when I'm not as close to Him I find myself in a trial - so I have opprotunities to strengthen my relationship with Him.  Just like a parent who misses their children - our Heavenly Father wants us to be close to Him.  I love the scripture in Ether 12:27 where we're told that if we go to the Lord with our weaknesses He will make weak things strong for us.  It's SO true!

Trials Often Prepare Us For Future, Harder Trials We May Face - I see some of the trials from my past and think - WOW - that was a stepping stone to these other things we'd be learning later on.  In fact in the midst of some recent trials I had a strong feeling that that particular trial wasn't the actual trial - but was to prepare me for something bigger later on.  (That was a scary thought...). But since we're here on earth to continaully learn and grow it's important that we build upon what we know - right?

Trials Help Us Feel Grateful For Blessings and Re-evaluate What Is Really Important -  I bet you've heard, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." How often to we express gratitude for our health, or do we wait until we're sick to complain about the lack of health?  As I've been going through a few things recently I have developed a great sense of gratitude for material items that I had always taken for granted.  I've also realized what things are important (family, relationships, the gospel) and what things are just not vitally important.  Trials have a definite way of giving us a different perspective.

Trials Teach Us How Strong We Are - When Cory and I were in the midst of a VERY hard summer job years ago one of our leaders in the company was talking to us. He said, "I know you don't believe me right now, but you are going to look back on this summer and say 'WOW!  Look how strong we were - look at all we accomplished together!'".  At the time I felt overwhelmed and stressed to a breaking point - but know what?  Looking back on those experiences in Detroit it did just that.  Repeatedly when we're faced with something I have the thought "Remember what you accomplished before?  You can do it again - you're tough!".  I think we don't realize our strength and trials give us a chnce to prove our toughness - even if it's to prove to ourselves that we can do hard things. We can often amaze even ourselves with how tough we really are!

Trials Are Given To Us To Bless Us - I believe this more right now than I have ever believed it.  There are economic challenges we are going through right now that I know would break me if I didn't have this perspective.  There are things I've gone through in the past that have shaken me to my core - but I ultimately have learned that trials are the greatest blessing our Heavenly Father can give us.  They cause us to stretch, strengthen and lift ourselves and others in a way we would not otherwise be able to.  They bring us to our knees and help us be reminded of a Father who loves us more than we can even comprehend.  Trials are a gift and I hope that as each of you go through these trials you can find the same kind of perspective as I feel I'm being blessed with. 

I am indeed grateful for the trials my Heavenly Father knows I can handle. I am beyond grateful for a knowledge that I have that after the storms, and even in the midst of the storms we can find beauty and peace.  Through the particular challenges I've been dealing with in the last several months I can honestly say that I am happier and more at peace than I have ever been while struggling.  Often after a trial is over and resloved I've been able to find the beauty of it - after I'm done suffering; but this is the first time I have been in the middle of a trial and felt extreme gratitude for the experiences and lessons I'm learning.  Sure - it's hard and there are days that really stink - but I have felt the love and beauty that my Heavenly Father has given me.  I feel gratitude in greater ways than I remember feeling it in a very long time.  I have a new sense of what my blessings are and feel greater love for life.  I know that we can all find beauty during the storm and I hope anyone reading this can feel that peace. 

A few thoughts on trials we go through in life

I just got done typing a letter to our missionary brother Coby. He's in California right now and has been struggling with some health issues. It's so hard to see because he's a great missionary and working hard. I hope that they can find a good solution with his medicine and things to help him be able to stay in the field and teach the people of California! This past weekend we had a family fast for him (as well as some other family members on my side of the family). I love the blessing and gift of fasting - especially fasting with a group purpose in mind.

In fact, when we (finally) were able to get pregnant with Gabe years ago I remember a special family member saying to me, "Great - now I can start eating again on Sundays." This sweet person had been fasting every Sunday for who knows how long that we would be able to bring children into our home. I think of his sweet faith and trust in the blessings of fasting and I am so grateful for his example to me! I know there were many over the years that joined with us in fasting for that and I am sure that part of the blessing of being a family is due to that.

Anyway - yesterday I was thinking a bit about fasting and turned to the hymn book and read a few hymns about it. These ones touched me:

#139 - "In Fasting We Approach Thee"

Verse 1:
In fasting we approach thee here,
And pray thy Spirit from above
Will cleanse our hearts, cast out our fear,
And fill our hunger with thy love.

Verse 4:
This fast, dear Father, sanctify
Our faith and trust in thee increase.
As we commune and testify,
May we be filled with joy and peace


#138 - "Bless Our Fast, We Pray"

Verse #3:
As witnesses, we gather here
To thank, and to attest
Of mercies and of miracles -
Oh, still our lives so bless!
Feed thou our souls, fill though our hearts,
And bless our fast, we pray
That we may feel thy presence here
And feat with thee today


The #1 thing I thought as I read those songs was the line about how the spirit can cleanse our hearts and cast out our fear. Isn't fear an interesting thing? It worries us, it holds us back and it gnaws at us and makes us feel like we're not good enough. I think that fear comes almost always from Satan. He wants to throw us off path and make us feel like we aren't good enough.

That led me to something else I was led to this week (a week filled with tender mercies sent from above). I was reading a book by Brad Wilcox this week about the Atonement (it's a GREAT book - "The Continuous Atonement"). I'm going to copy a little bit of it to share with you. This comes from Chapter 6 in the book:

I never can seem to escape the nagging thought, "If only I were better organized or if only I tried harder." Satan tempated Christ with the word if (see Mathew 4:3-11). He often comes to me with the words if only.

"Don't worry about if you have done enough," advises one well-meaning friend. "Rather, ask if what you have done is acceptable to God." The problem with such advice is that I can't figure out how anything less than my all could ever be acceptable. I am told the compaionship of the Spirit will be my assurance when I've done my part. However, if I start beating myself up for not being a better home teacher or helping more with family history, then I can drive the Spirit away pretty quickly.

In those anxious moments, the greatest comfort I have found is in knowing any effort is pleasing to God even if He and I both know it's not my all or my best. It may be far from an acceptable offering, but God accepts it nonetheless because ultimately He is more concerned with the offerer than the offering. Elder Gerald N. Lund wrote: "Remember that one of Sata's strategies, especially with good people, is to whisper in their ears: 'If you're not perfect, you are failing.'. This is one of his most effective deceptions....We should recognize that God is pleased with every effort we make - no matter how faltering - to better ourselves" ("Are We Expected to Achieve Perfection in This Life?" 207).

Often I am the first to acknowledge that my efforts are mediocre at best. But instead of feeling bad about not offering more, I recognize it's a step in the right direction. I remind myself that the word mediocre is from the Latin word mediocris, which means halfway up the mountain. It doesn't describe how far I can go. It just indicates how far I have come. If I am halfway up the mountain and on my way to the top, it is better than being at the bottom and refusing to try. No matter where I am on the mountain, the motivation to climb higher is found not in trying to impress God and Christ with my sacrifices, but in letting their sacrifices be more deeply impressed upon me. (pages 108-109. "The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox)

So maybe this was something that hit me with force and power and won't make as big of a difference to you.....but I think sometimes we all need a reminder that we are climbing upwards - and even if we don't think that we've done enough - Heavenly Father takes our offerings and is grateful for them. He never tells us we aren't enough. He never tells us we aren't doing good enough - when we hear those thoughts and feelings - it's Satan telling us that. We need to tune dang Santan out and listen to our Heavenly Father that tells us we're trying - and trying is what we are required to do.

I hope that these thoughts are something that will help one of you as they did me when I read them. I am so grateful for tender mercies when we are lead to reading something that touches us. I'm so grateful for those little prayers we mutter and are so miraculously answered. I know that my Heavenly Father answers my prayers. I know that my Savior is standing waiting to carry me through my trials and ready to ease the burdens I feel. I know that without a doubt.

That being said - He doesn't take away our trials......sometimes the blessings he has waiting for us are waiting AFTER the trial. I find this scripture evident of this:

Ether 12: 6

6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

We will receive confirmation and reassurance AFTER our faith is tried....that's hard - but I know that if we endure and we continue to trust in our Heavenly Father's plan for us individually (because He has a plan specific for each of us) that we will find that confirmation and witness.

Ok - I'm probably starting to sound a bit preachy - but I shared some of these things with my brother-in-law Coby in his missionary letter today and I wanted to share them with someone else too - in case anyone else needed some of these thoughts I've been led to. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us. He knows our hearts and He knows the best way to bless us with those righteous desires. It's not always the way we think He should bless us, or in the timeframe we thing would be best - but He DOES answer our prayers and pleadings.

I know when Cory and I wanted so desperately to have a family and start having children I was crushed when it didn't happen after several years. I felt that my desire was such a righteous and good desire. I wasn't asking for money, riches, fame - I was begging to be a MOM, for us to be parents! It was something we are commanded to do and I was just asking Heavenly Father to bless us with that chance. But our requests were denied for over 6 years. We were told through priesthood blessings, promptings and feelings that our time would come - but it wasn't yet. Wow that was hard! It was so hard to be told "not yet". But know what? I am SO grateful for those years. I am so grateful for the relationship I developed with my Heavenly Father. We are blessed with trials so we can come closer to our Heavenly Father. We are blessed with heartache so we can turn our pain over to the Savior and learn of the healing power of the atonement.....I hope you'll feel that peace and that reassurance that I KNOW is availble to us because of the gift of the atonement and our Heavenly Father's love.

I am so grateful for the knowledge that we have been blessed with and the faith and trust that we develop. I feel so blessed and grateful.

"It's Just Not Fair!"

Ok - I dislike this phrase more than just about any phrase in the human language. From little kids saying it's not fair in relation to being told "no" to something simple to the political arguements that may rile people up and cause them to shout similar sentiments. It bugs me and seems like such an excuse. Really - there are very few situations that I feel like it warrants pulling the "fairness" card. We are all equal, and for the most part in life are treated as such (I know this is not always the case.....) If we feel that a situation is not "fair" we have the ability to change it - or try. As I mentioned in another post - it might take a lot of work - but it's possible.

That aside - there is a concept that I have a really hard time with. A situation that many, many struggle with that I do not understand - at all. Quite frankly it's a situation or trial that makes me want to scream and yell, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!" There have been times in my life when I've struggled directly with this situation, and after having my situation changed by the birth of my 2 little boys I still struggle with my feelings about this.

INFERTILITY

Today after learning about a few different aquaintances, and even a story about a person I don't know at all - dealing with infertility or the pain of loosing unborn children - I have fallen apart. It was almost like I was transported back 5 years ago to the daily ache and tears. I have sobbed, cried and begged to understand WHY this has to affect so many wonderful, deserving, amazing people. Why do my friends cry themselves to sleep and ache to hold a sweet child? Why, when it is such a righteous and good desire are they given this trial to bear? Even though it isn't my personal ache right now I have ached for them. I've remembered the emptiness and physical and emotional pain it can cause. As I've been working this out in my mind it hurts to think about it.

Now this is where I have a few answers, and feel a *little* peace. I know that our Heavenly Father gives us each a set of trials that we individually need. He gives us situations and circumstances to overcome that will make us the very best people that we can be. He knows the end from the beginning, and He knows what trials will bring us back to Him. He knows. In this I have faith and I believe firmly in it. I know that we came to earth for the experience of a body, and to experience agency. We are here to make choices that are hopefully good decisions, that will hopefully prepare us for eternity. I understand in many ways why we have agency, and why this is essential to the Plan of Salvation. I believe in this.

BUT - I have a problem with something in relation to this. A concept that I not only do not understand, but one that makes me want to yell out "It's not FAIR!"

Why is it that we hear about people who don't want children, or who don't take care of themselves or their unborn children; people who drink, smoke, do drugs - all the meanwhile affecting their children who do not have the control, or even the opportunity to express agency or make choices. Why are there so many children abandoned, abused, and even sadly aborted? Why is it that while some are busy making choices and decisions that these spirits who haven't even taken a breath are having choices made for them? Choices that they didn't get to choose, but that may lead them to a lifetime of debilitating health problems, or a life filled with poverty or even abandonment and abuse.

I don't understand it. I don't have answers, I don't see the equality in it. I wish I had an answer to give to my friends, my loved ones who long for those sweet children to enter their hearts and homes....I wish I could know what to say - or even better yet - I wish I knew what I could do to fix it. But I guess as with much in life we pray, we ask for patience in our understanding, and we try our hardest to trust in the Lord.....

In the meantime if you hear me mutter "It's just not fair", I'll try to keep it under my breath and not scream it from the rooftops......

A Mother's Heart

Mother's Day kind of breaks my heart....I know it's meant to be a day where we honor our Mother's, Grandmothers, and the women who have influenced our lives. But from experience I think that sometimes Mother's Day turns into a day that points out the difficultites that so many struggle with - infertility.

Here is a day that is designated for MOTHER'S. There are songs sang by children in sacrament meeting, pictures drawn and gifts made in preschool, cards made and signed by older children, and dinners planned and put together by father's. There are talks at church about fulfilling your calling as a mother, about being a better mother, about be a more patient and giving mother, and even talks about how wonderful other's own mothers are.

So where in all of that fit the women with "mother's hearts" who have yet to bring these children into their families?

I remember many Mother's Days of my own spent at home, or away from church - avoiding what would surely be the most painful Sunday of the year. Not wanting to sit in a bench without children to hold, and listen to all of the fantastic gifts of motherhood from the speakers on the stand I told Cory I didn't feel like I felt very well, and would stay home. I didn't think I could listen to the angelic voices of children sing "Mother Dear, I love you so....." and think about how I didn't have a little boy or girl up on the stand to sing to ME. And I certainly didn't want to have one of the young men handing out flowers to the mothers at the end fo the meeting stop and pause - not sure if he was supposed to give me one of the potted plants - afterall, I didn't have children.....was i a mother?

There were other Mother's Day Sunday's where we went to church and tears silently slid down my cheek as I prayed fervently that Heavenly Father would answer my cries for children so I too could be recognized as a "mother". I felt like there was a spotlight on me that flashed in neon lights, "SHE SHOULDN'T BE HERE - SHE'S NOT A MOTHER!"

It was heartbreaking, painful, and empty.

So now I have 2 sweet children of my own - 2 little boys to bring me breakfast in bed, sweet cards, and extra hugs and kisses through the day. I should be thrilled, and elated to celebrate Mother's Day with them (and I am, don't get me wrong). But there is still just a little place in my heart that breaks for these women I know who still long for children of their own to hold. I wish it was something I could take away, something I could do to stop the hurt of those who struggle with it. Remembering how it felt makes my heart break for them...

There is some comfort in Julie B. Beck's thoughts,

In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that "all things must come to pass in their time" and that they "are laying the foundation of a great work" (D&C 64:32–33). As they keep their covenants, they are investing in a grand, prestigious future because they know that "they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever" (Abr. 3:26). (Sister Julie B. Beck - "A Mother Heart")

So as you celebrate the Mother's in your life - remember also the WOMEN in your life, the ones who have made a difference and who posess "A Mother's Heart". Give them a little extra love and attention, love, and thoughts....

One of my favorite Christmas gifts ever

Tonight I was lying down with Gabe, singing our bedtime songs (which have started including Christmas songs for the season) and telling my "when you were a little girl" stories. I told about how I'd stay up alot of the night because I was so excited, how my siblings and I would go in and wake up my parents, and how we'd line up from youngest to oldest before going down the stairs. I told him we'd open our stockings first - and he wanted to know what I'd get in my stocking. I told him what the usual items were - he got a chuckle out of the idea that I would get underwear in my stocking (poor kid is going to be disappointed when he sees all the undies 'sants' bought to stuff into his stocking this year....) Then as I thought it was about time to sneak out of the room and escape to my own bed Gabe says, "Mom - what was your very favorite Christmas present ever?"

I thought for about a mili-second - but I knew right away what my favorite Christmas present was - it was Gabe. It was just a few weeks before Christmas - 4 years ago - that we found out (totally surprisingly) that we were expecting our first baby. I remember finding out while I was working on Cory's Christmas present (a quilt I made him as a surprise) and wondering if there was any possible way I could hold it in until Christmas morning to tell him. (I think it was like the 10th of December - or somewhere around that). I remember thinking of creative ways to break the news, and after telling Cory - I wondered how we could make it a surprise for others.

So during this season as we talk about the little baby Jesus, and about his mother Mary at Christmas-time - I feel a little connection. I think of my little baby who had been only a dream until my Christmas wish came true. I think about how just weeks before finding out about the pregnancy I had hit my lowest point of frustration and depression about the lack of a baby. I think about the "deals" I made as I prayed to Heavenly Father - telling Him that all I wanted for Christmas - or the rest of my life - was to be a mom and hold a little baby. I begged and pleaded for my righteous desires to come true - and for my wish to be granted. So when I think of Christmas I think of those elated weeks before Christmas in 2004 when my Christmas dream had come true.

Then flash to tonight as I said goodnight to Gabe, with tears in my eyes after telling him that finding out we were going to have HIM was the best Christmas gift I'd ever been given. He said, "No Mom - what was your favorite present UNDER THE TREE?!?" I explained to him that the best presents don't always come under the tree, or are even wrapped in paper and bows. He seemed a bit confused - but said, "Ok Mom".

Then I tucked him in and gave him a kiss. I walked out the door of his room and heard a whisper, "Wait Mom - come back." I kind of rolled my eyes - hoping that he wasn't going to stall for hours - I went over to the side of his bed and asked "yes Gabe?". He held his arms out wide and said in the most tender, sincere voice I've heard, "Mom - I will love you to infinity and beyond." He then gave me another special Christmas gift. Not one that is wrapped, or one that costs money - but an amazing hug and kiss. I was taken back to the moment when I first told Cory we would be parents - and all that love flodded my heart. Those tender mercies we are allowed are truly the precious gifts of the season.

Love where you're at...

Does anyone else have a hard time loving the station of life their train is currently stopped at? It seems that through my whole life I've always chased happiness - thinking that it was just around the corner - only to find that it was right in front of me all along.

When I was 11 years old I knew that life would be "complete" when I was old enough to be in the Young Women's program. At 15 I was certain that true happiness came when I was 16 and could officially date. Then as I got closer to the time to leave for college I was sure that when I left home and was on my own - THEN I would feel that contentment that must come at some point....and don't even get me started with the whole "boy" issue. I was so positive that once I had a boyfriend/fiance/husband - I would feel great about myself.

This has continued all through my life - and I have chased away way too many wonderful days with 'what if' thoughts, or 'if only...' moments. I have struggled with finding joy in the here-and-now.

One big example is regarding having children. Through our years of infertility and wanting desperately to have children I don't know if we ever sat back and enjoyed the time the 2 of us had together. I took for granted the fact that we could go to movies without worrying about having a babysitter - not to mention how much cheaper a night out was without paying said sitter. I didn't realize how blessed I was to go to the grocery store by myself and take as long as I wanted. I most certainly didn't appreciate the fact that I went to church on Sunday and heard the lessons - really got to listen. All I could think about at the time was how life would be so much more complete, and so much better if I had children by my side.

Fast forward several years to 2008 - to today. How often do I find myself stressed out or frustrated with the incessant noise in our home? I cry because I'm not a good enough entertainer or disciplinarian to my children. I feel overwhelmed by all of the things I don't get done because I am trying to spend time with my children, or feel upset because I only feel like a "MOM" and not a person. While I don't long for the sadness and loneliness that I felt through the years of infertility, I do wish I could have some of those feelings from time to time to remind me how blessed I currently am.

Today I read an essay from a great book called, "The Mother In Me" - about just this thing. It talked about a woman who was struggling with infertility and compared her feelings to the feelings of her sister-in-law who was struggling with being a young mother. As I read the essay and tears streamed my face I remembered for a moment those feelings, the thought that, "If I only had a baby - then I would fulfill my mission". The essay concluded saying essentially that we needed to sit back for a moment in OUR lives and be grateful for what we have going on right now. Whether or not those experiences are comfortable or "fun" is irrelevant. Remember that there are hundreds of women who long for your life.

For instance.....

If you are frustrated with not knowing what to cook for dinner tonight - remember that there is a mother in Africa who just longs to have food to cook for her children.

If you long for children of your own to hold - just for a moment relish in the idea that your time is truly your own.

If you feel overwhelmed by the children you have - think of the woman who cries herself to sleep each night begging Heavenly Father to be a mother.

If you are frustrated with a spouse who works overtime - think of the family with no job, no income who wonder where their next check will come from.

If you worry about keeping all of the "stuff" cleaned up in your house and wish you didn't have so many toys to clean up - picture the family who lost everything in a fire, who have no 'things' to clean up.

If you struggle with a way-ward teenager - remember the parents who buried a young baby, never to see them as a teenager.

I could go on and on - but I think you get the idea. Just for a moment sit back and be grateful for where you are at. Thank Heavenly Father for your set of 'blessings' or 'trials'. I know I'll think a little harder about it today and not wish away my todays.