Ok - I dislike this phrase more than just about any phrase in the human language. From little kids saying it's not fair in relation to being told "no" to something simple to the political arguements that may rile people up and cause them to shout similar sentiments. It bugs me and seems like such an excuse. Really - there are very few situations that I feel like it warrants pulling the "fairness" card. We are all equal, and for the most part in life are treated as such (I know this is not always the case.....) If we feel that a situation is not "fair" we have the ability to change it - or try. As I mentioned in another post - it might take a lot of work - but it's possible.
That aside - there is a concept that I have a really hard time with. A situation that many, many struggle with that I do not understand - at all. Quite frankly it's a situation or trial that makes me want to scream and yell, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!" There have been times in my life when I've struggled directly with this situation, and after having my situation changed by the birth of my 2 little boys I still struggle with my feelings about this.
Today after learning about a few different aquaintances, and even a story about a person I don't know at all - dealing with infertility or the pain of loosing unborn children - I have fallen apart. It was almost like I was transported back 5 years ago to the daily ache and tears. I have sobbed, cried and begged to understand WHY this has to affect so many wonderful, deserving, amazing people. Why do my friends cry themselves to sleep and ache to hold a sweet child? Why, when it is such a righteous and good desire are they given this trial to bear? Even though it isn't my personal ache right now I have ached for them. I've remembered the emptiness and physical and emotional pain it can cause. As I've been working this out in my mind it hurts to think about it.
Now this is where I have a few answers, and feel a *little* peace. I know that our Heavenly Father gives us each a set of trials that we individually need. He gives us situations and circumstances to overcome that will make us the very best people that we can be. He knows the end from the beginning, and He knows what trials will bring us back to Him. He knows. In this I have faith and I believe firmly in it. I know that we came to earth for the experience of a body, and to experience agency. We are here to make choices that are hopefully good decisions, that will hopefully prepare us for eternity. I understand in many ways why we have agency, and why this is essential to the Plan of Salvation. I believe in this.
BUT - I have a problem with something in relation to this. A concept that I not only do not understand, but one that makes me want to yell out "It's not FAIR!"
Why is it that we hear about people who don't want children, or who don't take care of themselves or their unborn children; people who drink, smoke, do drugs - all the meanwhile affecting their children who do not have the control, or even the opportunity to express agency or make choices. Why are there so many children abandoned, abused, and even sadly aborted? Why is it that while some are busy making choices and decisions that these spirits who haven't even taken a breath are having choices made for them? Choices that they didn't get to choose, but that may lead them to a lifetime of debilitating health problems, or a life filled with poverty or even abandonment and abuse.
I don't understand it. I don't have answers, I don't see the equality in it. I wish I had an answer to give to my friends, my loved ones who long for those sweet children to enter their hearts and homes....I wish I could know what to say - or even better yet - I wish I knew what I could do to fix it. But I guess as with much in life we pray, we ask for patience in our understanding, and we try our hardest to trust in the Lord.....
In the meantime if you hear me mutter "It's just not fair", I'll try to keep it under my breath and not scream it from the rooftops......