Yesterday I had my own little version of a light bulb moment. Or maybe it was just a moment that has been a long time coming...I don't know what it was, but I feel different.
Gabe was asleep at the moment and I was folding a load of his little clothes. All of a sudden as I was folding a sleeper I looked at the laundry and I said outloud - "I'm a mom!" It was like it hit me all of a sudden. Tears came to my eyes and I realized that after so many years of trying, crying, and pleading with the Lord - I was actually a mom!
Now I had thought about it a few times previously when I'd be holding sweet Gabe, or even when I was pregnant with him. But somehow as I folded that small load of laundry I actually felt like a mother!
So will things be different now that I have this role of a mom? I think so - I feel like I've increased my capacity to love. I never really knew what love was until this little spirit joined our home. Now I understand the meaning of true love. I think my patience has actually increased. I don't need as much sleep, and it really doesn't matter if my house is super clean. A crying baby doesn't bother me now like it used to - I actually love to comfort his cries - it makes me feel loved and needed.
So thank you Gabe for changing my life and for helping me to realize my new amazing and exciting role of a mother!