Sunday, August 14, 2011

Stay little just a while longer....

Tonight I was anxious to get my kids to bed.  We've had several busy weeks recently with a trip to Utah, YW camp, cousins visiting last week, and now some 2nd cousins visiting this weekend. It seems like our house might not ever be clean again, I doubt I'll ever "catch up" with laundry, and the idea of actual quiet for a few hours seems like a mirage - something I might not ever actually reach or realize...I was excited to get my kids to bed and hopefully have the cousins fall asleep fairly soon too so we could have a quiet hour or 2 before going to bed ourselves.

So when Gabe asked me to lay with him for a little while and rub his back my first response was to say no, he needed to go to sleep on his own and I needed some "quiet time".  But as I kissed his sweet cheek and started to tell him no I suddenly had a flash.  I had a small glimpse of him 10 years from now.  He'd be 16 years old and definitely not wanting me around to tuck him in - much less lay with him listening to night time music and scratching his back.  It was as if a little voice almost whispered, "Stop, stop for a moment and enjoy being with your sweet little boy.  These moments will come less often as the years go by."

My heart kind of broke for a moment as I realized it was true - my kids wouldn't be little forever.  It would be a very short time and they wouldn't want to snuggle with me, have their backs scratched or hear me sing them to sleep.  Before I know it I'll be begging them to let me read them stories before bed, or feeling sad that they don't want to go on "mommy dates". 

So I snuggled with my little guy for a few minutes.  Tonight he chose to listen to some soft Christmas music to help him fall asleep - (Peter Brienholt's "Noel") and as I snuck out of his room our favorite song from the album "Silent Night" came on.  I know it's August and for the most part I don't agree with listening to Christmas music - but that song made me stop in my tracks for the 2nd time in a matter of minutes.  In that moment I thought of our sweet Savior and His relationship with His mother Mary.  I thought about her swaddling that sweet little baby, holding Him close to her and knowing that in a matter of years He would be the Savior of the world.  I can't imagine as she knew parts of what He would undergo as He taught the world, as He atoned for our sins and as He was crucified for us so that we can live again.  Those tender moments between mother and son....a tender glimpse I would have loved to get a small peek of.  I imagine that her love for her son was similar to the love I have for my sweet boys - so amazing it's hard to put into words exactly.

As frustrating as it can be at times to be a mother to rambunctious children, I really wouldn't have it any other way - I love those boys!

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