I haven't done this in the past (this wasn't a new concept - it was just one of my first time to think about joining in), but I felt drawn to participating in this little activity this time around. Now, at the time (the end of 2009) I was really struggling with dozens of "issues" - and I think this little decision was a turning point for me. This was a moment that kind of forshadowed the possibility of upcoming changes in how I looked at the world, and more importantly how I looked at myself.
I thought of several words - adventure, excitement, organization, love, hope....but as I mulled these over in my mind I kept being drawn to a Christmas decoration I still had up (remember, it was just days after Christmas - I was still ok to have decorations up, I wasn't violating any decorating rules) with the simple word "BELIEVE". That floated around in my mind as a possibility - but I was really struggling with some major depression, and the word "BELIEVE" just seemed a little too optomistic; a little too out of reach.
But as of January 1st I hadn't written down my intention, I hadn't created a large art piece devoted to "my 2010 word", and I hadn't even said anything to anyone about it. I kind of filed it away in my mind under things I wish I had the time/energy to think about and let myself quit thinking about it.
Fast forward a few weeks, maybe months.... I was working out at my friend Leslie's house in the new program I was working on. I was feeling stronger, finding new confidence and light in my life. I was cleaning out the cob-webs and the darkness and feeling so much lighter in many ways. I looked up into a door-way that led to the bathroom just off of her weight room. Sitting on the counter in the bathroom was a decoration, a simple one word piece of wood, "BELIEVE". As I looked at that word I felt a reminder of my thoughts leading up to the beginning of 2010. Suddenly I felt renewed determination to have a word, to create intentions for the rest of the year revolving around these simple 7 letters. All of the thoughts I'd had weeks before of things I wished I could want seemed somewhat possible. I decided from then on that the theme for the rest of 2010 for me would be to "BELIEVE". Here are some of the areas I felt it applied:
- I would BELIEVE in the people around me that I love and help them to BELIEVE in themselves.
- I would BELIEVE in myself and the abilities God had blessed me with. This would mean that I would stop listening to the limiting ideas I'd let keep me from accomplishing things I wanted in the past.
- I would BELIEVE that there were better chances out there and that things would look up financially.
- I would BELIEVE that the trials that I was experiencing were for my good, that I would truly come out victorious over them and that they would strengthen me and the people I love in just the way we needed it.
- I would BELIEVE in the gospel even more than I ever had, my testimony would grow and I would know with a surety the things I have always felt in my heart.
It has brought me peace as I've thought about it and as tender mercies have lead me to more experiences with my word. Last night as I was wasting time on the internet I came across this cute blog and a poignant graphic she had posted:
I not only wanted to frame it and hang it on my wall, or maybe on my bathroom mirror to greet me each morning - but I wanted to make a copy of it and share it with others I loved. I wanted to give a copy of it to friends as they struggled with believing in themselves, as they let the sad words of self-doubt creep in and create limiting ideas into their lives. I wanted to share a piece of the belief that I had in them so they could see themselves in the light that I see them; but more importantly than how our Heavenly Father sees us. I know that He sees what we are becoming and knows the beauty we can one day be. It's my wish that we could all get a glimpse of that from time to time. It is my wish that anyone reading this would find the power to BELIEVE in themselves and follow their dreams.