Tuesday, March 01, 2011

I am.....


Last week I took a yoga class from a teacher I hadn't taken from before.  She was a little....different....a little too "new-age-like" for my taste.  At first I thought she was a bit kooky and figured at least it would be a relaxing hour, and possibly somewhat humorous....

At one point she started talking (that was one of the problems - she talked a lot!) about how we needed to stop focusing on what we wanted, and focus on putting what we wanted into acutalized statments.  Like saying, "I am happy" instead of "I want to feel happy".  The idea was really strong - the idea that we are what we think about most of the time.  And by thinking exclusively of what we want - we're living in a state of feeling unfulfilled - instead of starting things in a different way - so that we felt somewhat accomplished, which helps us to achieve these things.  (Think of the philosophy of the book "The Secret".)  Anyway - as she got talking about this she encouraged us to all think of something that we were working towards and come up with some statements that were worded like "I am______". 

Now, let me rewind a bit to say that before I had left for the gym I had been feeling really high-strung.  It was a Tuesday - and I have a history of just being a wreck on Tuesdays (especially between 4-7 pm on Tuesdays - I don't know what it is...?)  I was feeling really inadequate, unhappy, stressed out - crummy and down on myself.

So here I am lying on the floor in a very relaxing pose - breathing and trying to think of a statement that reflected what I wanted in a positive way.  I wasn't terriblly intent on anything in particular but a thought entered my mind VERY strongly, "I am - a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him."  Here were words I had said dozens, even hundreds of times as a Young Woman in the LDS church.  It is a part of the theme for the Young Women's organization, and a part of the mantra that we repeated each week at church, and at our activities. 

I tried to think of other phrases, other ways of saying positive things - but it was almost like a voice said, "You are a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you - does anything else really matter???"

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that no - if I can truly say with all the conviction of my heart that I KNOW I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him - everything else will fall into place.  Being a good mother and wife should come more naturally.  I should treat my fellow men better because I have the perspective of knowing who I am and where I come from.  I should work harder at my church calling, or speak more lovingly to those around me - just becuase I know the divine heritage I carry with me. I should be more gentle on myself simply because a daughter of God inherently has great worth.

So think for a moment - who are you, or what is it you're hoping for?  Think of a way to put that into a positive statement and really think about it.  Remember - you are what you think of most of the time.  Try to remember who you are and where you come from and hopefully we will all be moving in a positive and healthy direction.

3 comments:

Rachel Clare said...

i love this.

Mrs. Ellis said...

I have really missed your beautiful, articulate, and thought provoking posts. This one was all of that and more. And I really needed it this week. Thanks for sharing, Joanna.

Ashley Mullen said...

I LOVE YOU JOANNA!!!! Thank you Joanna! I needed this! Love you!!!! YO uare an ispiration! Lvoe you tons....I am loving your quick pages. super cute. now I need to get on the ball and get some :) Love ya