Beautiful Quote...

I came across this quote tonight in some reading I was doing.  My heart stopped for a moment, my spirit told me it was true and the peace our Heavenly Father promises poured out.  So sweet, so very, very sweet!

"Never look ahead to the changes and challenges of this life in fear. Instead, as they arise look at them with full assurance that God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them… So hold tightly to His loving hands and He will lead you safely through all things. And when you cannot stand He will carry you in His arms…. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unwavering strength that you may bear it. Be at peace, then, and set aside all anxious thoughts and worries".  (--Francis De Sales)

"I Know The Scriptures Are True"

This year in church the Primary theme was "I Know The Scriptures Are True".  I have LOVED listening to the things the boys have learned in Primary as they've listened to their teacher and leaders.  This has been Hunter's first year in Primary (he's a Sunbeam - the youngest group in Primary) and it has been amazing to hear him sing the songs, or repeat the things he learns in Primary.  He might look like he's not listening in class or sharing time, but he is!  I love hearing him repeat simple (and sometimes not-so-simple) gospel truths.

So today the kids presented their yearly program in Sacrament Meeting.  It's a meeting once a year where the kids in Primary share the songs and lessons they've learned through the year.  Every child generally will have a speaking part, interspersed throughout the music they've also learned.  It's a beautiful, touching meeting - one of my favorite of the year!  This year both boys had parts.  Gabe said, "I felt good when I went to visit the temple with my family."  Hunter's part was, "I am thankful to Heavenly Father for my 2 dogs."  My heart melted to hear them at the microphone and I loved the music!

But what was even more beautiful and special was what happened later - at home with our family.  The boys were given scripture marking pencils with a treat to tell them "good job" on the program.  They wanted to mark a couple scriptures in their own Book of Mormons.  I tried to explain that we didn't just mark up our scriptures, but we purposefully chose scriptures to underline - scriptures that were important to us.  Gabe said, "But Mom, I have a scripture that's special to me - we read about it when Nephi needed to get the plates from Laban and he said, 'I will go and do what you asked me to do.'"  So he brought me his Book of Mormon and we opened it to the scripture in 1st Nephi 3:7:

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

I had pointed to the verse and Gabe started reading it.  He got about 2/3 the way through the verse (reading 95% of the words on his own) and said, "MOM!  I'M READING THE SCRIPTURES!!!"  His eyes lit up and he was excited that his reading was coming in handy and HE was doing the reading this time around.  He was thrilled and wanted to call Nana and Papa on the webcam to read his new favorite scripture to them too.  It gave me goosebumps and my eyes filled with tears - my little guy was reading, he was reading the scriptures, and he was excited about it! It was one of the moments that made it all worth it.

So I said to he and Hunter, "It's great to be able to read the scriptures, and then after you've read the Book of Mormon for yourself you can pray about it and find out for yourself if it's true." Gabe said, "But Mom, why would we need to do that?  We already KNOW that the sciprtures are true."  I explained that it's important for us to each know for ourselves if something is true and we can pray to find out for ourselves.  Gabe said, "Yeah, but I already KNOW myself!"  Then Hunter chimed in and said, "Yeah Mom, just like in the song we sing in Primary - 'I KNOW The Scriptures Are True'!"  They were both so adamant that they already knew for themselves that the gospel and scriptures are true. 

What a proud and humbling parenting moment.  Looking at those boys and their undeniable faith and knowledge that the scriptures are true humbled me.  If they had no doubt in their sweet minds, then I as their mother need to be sure that my faith is unshakable and firm as ever.  Now I know that my job is not done, and that there will be opprotunities all along my parenting journey to instill gospel truths and testimony building opprotunities - but it felt so good to know that their foundation we're helping them build was founded on a belief that the scriptures are true.  I know that foundations like that will bless their lives, and many more in the years to come.  I sure do love those boys and their sweet testimonies!

Law of Chastity FHE Lessons

I have been working on my Relief Society Lesson for this month - Lesson #39 - The Law of Chastity.  Here are some links that I'm sharing that go along with the theme that can help families teach these same principles in Family Home Evening:

•  LDS FHE Lesson Manual - Chastity:  http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=4049be335dc20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=198bf4b13819d110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD
• Procreation and Chastity:  http://lds.org/hf/library/1,16866,4266-1,00.html?LibraryURL=/lds/hf/display
• Our Sacred bodies – Chastity, Modesty, and Morality:  http://thatgoodpart.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/family-home-evening-lesson-our-sacred-bodies-chastity-modesty-and-morality/
• Our Bodies are Sacred:  http://ayearoffhe.blogspot.com/search/label/Modesty
• Young Women Value - Integrity - https://lds.org/young-women/personal-progress/virtue?lang=eng
• Talk:  Guardians of Virtue - http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/guardians-of-virtue?lang=eng
• A Parent's Guide (this is an excellent guide to teaching our children at all different ages):  http://lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng
   

This lesson was very hard for me to prepare.  I literally spent most of the week - any chance I had to prepare for it. As I read our prophet's teachings, the scriptures, personal experiences and commandments the spirit whispered to me that THIS was vital.  This lesson and message - to keep our bodies clean and pure is of the utmost importance.  I MUST teach my children and prepare them for what Satan is going to throw their way.  I felt almost a heaviness and a scariness in that....but I know that I have a responsibilty to them.  I loved this quote I found in A Parent's Guide that changed the way I viewed what I am teaching my children:

"You are not simply caring for your children until they can leave home - you are training infinitely precious children of God to someday be worthy to receive all that the Father has."

(source- "A Parent’s Guide")

I also found a renewed energy in myself to live a virtuous and chaste life.  I have seen the blessings that come from following these commandments as well as the sorrow that results from not obeying the strictness of the law.  I've watched families and individuals fall away from truth as they've allowed Satan a place in their lives and his temptations into their hearts.  I loved the scriptures in the lesson that talked about how the Lord will not let us be tempted above that which we are able to handle.  He will prepare a way for us to escape if we will cling to the truth of the gospel.

I have a testimony of chaste and virtuous living.  I know that in living a life within these bounds that our marriages and families can prepare to be together through eternity and for that I am so grateful!

One of my favorite scriptures

I was sending an email to a friend and felt impressed to share this scripture.  It is one of my very favorite scriptures in the world and has helped to teach me in many instances in my life.

Mosiah 24: 10-16

• 10 And it came to pass that so great were their afflictions that they began to cry mightily to God.
• 11 And Amulon commanded them that they should stop their cries; and he ^aput guards over them to watch them, that whosoever should be found calling upon God should be put to death.
• 12 And Alma and his people did not raise their voices to the Lord their God, but did pour out their ^ahearts to him; and he did know the ^bthoughts of their hearts.
  13 And it ^acame to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
• 14 And I will also ease the ^aburdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as ^bwitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their ^cafflictions.
• 15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did ^astrengthen them that they could bear up their ^bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with ^cpatience to all the will of the Lord.
• 16 And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.

 Specifically where they are told that the Lord will ease the burdens on their back - even so they cannot feel them. We often want the Lord to take away our burdens - make it all just go away and work out perfectly. Too often it doesn't work that way though, and the real lesson is submitting to His will and letting him carry us, as well as our burdens. I KNOW through times in my life that my burdens haven't gone away, but that I haven't carried them on my own. My own back has been strengthened and my ability to carry the burdens has been made possible by the help of my Heavenly Father.  I find such comfort in that message of peace and love.

Perfect Thoughts!

You know when you read something that just fits exactly what you've been searching for? When you find a PERFECT answer in someone else's words? That's the case with this article I just read:

LDS.org - New Era Article - Five Scriptures That Will Help You Get through Almost Anything

• Scripture One: We Know That God Loves His Children! (1 Nephi 11:17)
• Scripture Two: We Know That God Allows Evil to Exist in the World (Moses 7:26–33)
• Scripture Three: Our Work Is Not Finished! (Alma 14:13)
• Scripture Four: The Atonement Is Not Just for Sinners (Alma 7:11–12)
• Scripture Five: One Day, the Lord Will Reveal All Things (D&C 101:32–36)
• The Ultimate Answer - The Lord Is Over All

John Byetheway has always been one of my very favorite speakers. I loved hearing him at EFY when I was a kid. I've loved watching his Deseret Book video specials and I have always had fun listening to his books on tape - he's just awesome. But tonight as I read this article I wasn't impressed because of his witty-banter, or the silly way he performs - I was touched by the spirit. That happens frequently when listening to Brother Byetheway, but this time I was just so touched that some of the words I was searching for (both for myself and for some other people I'd been thinking about, praying for) were perfect for the situations. Guess that is another one of those tender mercies that we're so often blessed with.

So read the article - I promise you won't be disappointed!

I am.....

Last week I took a yoga class from a teacher I hadn't taken from before.  She was a little....different....a little too "new-age-like" for my taste.  At first I thought she was a bit kooky and figured at least it would be a relaxing hour, and possibly somewhat humorous....

At one point she started talking (that was one of the problems - she talked a lot!) about how we needed to stop focusing on what we wanted, and focus on putting what we wanted into acutalized statments.  Like saying, "I am happy" instead of "I want to feel happy".  The idea was really strong - the idea that we are what we think about most of the time.  And by thinking exclusively of what we want - we're living in a state of feeling unfulfilled - instead of starting things in a different way - so that we felt somewhat accomplished, which helps us to achieve these things.  (Think of the philosophy of the book "The Secret".)  Anyway - as she got talking about this she encouraged us to all think of something that we were working towards and come up with some statements that were worded like "I am______". 

Now, let me rewind a bit to say that before I had left for the gym I had been feeling really high-strung.  It was a Tuesday - and I have a history of just being a wreck on Tuesdays (especially between 4-7 pm on Tuesdays - I don't know what it is...?)  I was feeling really inadequate, unhappy, stressed out - crummy and down on myself.

So here I am lying on the floor in a very relaxing pose - breathing and trying to think of a statement that reflected what I wanted in a positive way.  I wasn't terriblly intent on anything in particular but a thought entered my mind VERY strongly, "I am - a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him."  Here were words I had said dozens, even hundreds of times as a Young Woman in the LDS church.  It is a part of the theme for the Young Women's organization, and a part of the mantra that we repeated each week at church, and at our activities. 

I tried to think of other phrases, other ways of saying positive things - but it was almost like a voice said, "You are a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you - does anything else really matter???"

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that no - if I can truly say with all the conviction of my heart that I KNOW I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him - everything else will fall into place.  Being a good mother and wife should come more naturally.  I should treat my fellow men better because I have the perspective of knowing who I am and where I come from.  I should work harder at my church calling, or speak more lovingly to those around me - just becuase I know the divine heritage I carry with me. I should be more gentle on myself simply because a daughter of God inherently has great worth.

So think for a moment - who are you, or what is it you're hoping for?  Think of a way to put that into a positive statement and really think about it.  Remember - you are what you think of most of the time.  Try to remember who you are and where you come from and hopefully we will all be moving in a positive and healthy direction.

A Saturday's Warrior Moment

This weekend I was lucky to attend our stake’s Relief Society Conference. They had events Friday evening and Saturday for several hours – including a nice dessert and fantastic lunch on Saturday. It was a great way to relax without kids, enjoy the sisterhood of Relief Society and feel the spirit and love of our Heavenly Father.


I had one particular thought as I was listening to a sweet sister from our ward speak. She was talking about our divine potential and the beautiful people we are. She talked about our Heavenly Father and who we were even before we came to earth. As she talked about the premortal existence I had a little flash to “Saturday’s Warrior”. Don’t laugh – I didn’t start singing, “I’ve think I’ve seen that face before….it seems we’ve talked like this before…..” But I did get to thinking about the relationships we have had before we came to earth.

Have you ever had a friendship that just came so naturally, just seemed like you must have known each other before….? I have had some really special friends in my life that just have felt like we’ve had an extra special place in each other’s lives. I remember my best friend growing up – Jana Huntington (Johnson now)’s mom used to always say she was sure we had been friends in the preexistence –I have to say I agree – it is an eternal friendship. (As are several other blessed friendships I have).

Anyway – as the speaker got to talking about promises we had made in the pre-existence with our Heavenly Father I got thinking about promises I may have made with friends and loved ones even before coming to earth. I wondered if there were relationships that included promises to be friends and watch out for each other on earth. I even went further into thinking about choices that we have made on earth that maybe were somewhat thought out before we set foot on this earth.

• What if I had promised other friends that I would be the friend to go through infertility battles so that we could all learn that joint prayers and fasting work?

• What if I had friends who had offered to be the ones to make grievous mistakes so that we could all learn to forgive and love?

• Are there friends that I promised before we were born that I would be a missionary to them and share the gospel? Were there friendships that included vows to introduce the truth to each other and help teach and lead each other to what was right?

• What if I had promised special friends that when they fell and made hard choices I would be there to help pick them back up and help them to start again?

• I wondered if I had friends who had promised to be examples to me of hard work, dedication and love so that I could get through hard times?

I know that we are given agency when we come to earth, but I also wonder if some of our decisions were somewhat planned out before we came, or if we might have been given a little preview of possibilities of what was to come. I wonder if we had a glimpse of the personality traits we would have in our mortal existence and talked about how we would handle certain situations?

This little glimpse or idea made me think of times when it might seem like too much to serve, or when it might be easier to just pass by the problem without taking care of it. It made me think of times I could reach out a helping hand and “pause to help and lift another”. I am grateful for the reminder that we just might have made promises to love our brothers and sisters a little more than we do on a daily basis.

Then again – maybe not….but I sure don’t want to get to “the other side” and realize that I had broken promises to people I loved the very most….

I'm so grateful for our Savior!

Over the last few days I have felt an overwhelming love for my Savior, the gospel and the Atonement.  I am beyond grateful that we have promises that we can return to our Heavenly Father because our Heavenly Father sent His Son Jesus Christ to live and die for us.

A friend of mine posted this comment on Facebook.  I'm not sure if it was something she was quoting, or something she wrote herself - but it touched me and reminded me of how grateful I am that (as usual) our Heavenly Father sent us all exactly what we would need.

God sent us a Savior

If our greatest need had been information, God would of sent us an educator.

If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist.

If our greatest need had been Money, God would of sent us a economist.

If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer.

But our greatest need was forgiveness, So God sent us a Savior.

Connections and Memories

I have a really vivid memory of singing "Teach Me to Walk in the Light" with my mom in church when I was about Gabe's age - around 4 or 5 years old I think.  I remember the spirit I felt while we sang and I remember feeling with every part of my body that my Mom loved me and knew that the Savior loved us too.  Every time I hear that song I think about my mom, I think about her teaching me about the Savior through out my life.  I've thought about the power of music and how even as a small child I remember feeling the spirit through music. 

Today I created another memory to add to that collection.  Today Gabe and I sang with a group of 4 other kids his age and their moms in our ward's sacrament meeting @ church.  It was just one verse of the song, "Jesus Once Was a Little Child".  The children sang the song and the the moms joined in for the chorus -

Jesus once was a little child
A little child like me;
And He was pure and meek and mild
As a little child should be. 

Chorus:
So little children
Lets you and I
Try to be like Him.
Try, try, try

After we sang and were walking back to our seat I had a wave of emotion hit me.  It occured to me that this song was just as applicable to me in my life right now as it was to my children.  We all need to be like little children, and we all need to live our lives like the Savior did.  And I thought a lot about how my children and I aren't much different from each other...We are all working in our lives to return to our Heavenly Father. 

I happen to have been born before my children, and I have the responsiblity right now to teach them the gospel, teach them to be good people and serve others.  But in the end we will have the same goals and need to work towards the same end result - returning to our Heavenly Father after (hopefully) living good lives.

As I teach my children I am going to become better while I hopefully help them also.  But I think that having children is one of the biggest examples of the teacher learning more than the student.  Being responsible for these sweet souls is teaching me more and more than I ever thought possible!

So I am grateful that I have been blessed with a history of being taught the gospel by my parents and wonderful leaders of the past and I look forward to creating more of those experiences with my own children.  What an awesome responsibility and amazing blessing!

A few thoughts on trials we go through in life

I just got done typing a letter to our missionary brother Coby. He's in California right now and has been struggling with some health issues. It's so hard to see because he's a great missionary and working hard. I hope that they can find a good solution with his medicine and things to help him be able to stay in the field and teach the people of California! This past weekend we had a family fast for him (as well as some other family members on my side of the family). I love the blessing and gift of fasting - especially fasting with a group purpose in mind.

In fact, when we (finally) were able to get pregnant with Gabe years ago I remember a special family member saying to me, "Great - now I can start eating again on Sundays." This sweet person had been fasting every Sunday for who knows how long that we would be able to bring children into our home. I think of his sweet faith and trust in the blessings of fasting and I am so grateful for his example to me! I know there were many over the years that joined with us in fasting for that and I am sure that part of the blessing of being a family is due to that.

Anyway - yesterday I was thinking a bit about fasting and turned to the hymn book and read a few hymns about it. These ones touched me:

#139 - "In Fasting We Approach Thee"

Verse 1:
In fasting we approach thee here,
And pray thy Spirit from above
Will cleanse our hearts, cast out our fear,
And fill our hunger with thy love.

Verse 4:
This fast, dear Father, sanctify
Our faith and trust in thee increase.
As we commune and testify,
May we be filled with joy and peace


#138 - "Bless Our Fast, We Pray"

Verse #3:
As witnesses, we gather here
To thank, and to attest
Of mercies and of miracles -
Oh, still our lives so bless!
Feed thou our souls, fill though our hearts,
And bless our fast, we pray
That we may feel thy presence here
And feat with thee today


The #1 thing I thought as I read those songs was the line about how the spirit can cleanse our hearts and cast out our fear. Isn't fear an interesting thing? It worries us, it holds us back and it gnaws at us and makes us feel like we're not good enough. I think that fear comes almost always from Satan. He wants to throw us off path and make us feel like we aren't good enough.

That led me to something else I was led to this week (a week filled with tender mercies sent from above). I was reading a book by Brad Wilcox this week about the Atonement (it's a GREAT book - "The Continuous Atonement"). I'm going to copy a little bit of it to share with you. This comes from Chapter 6 in the book:

I never can seem to escape the nagging thought, "If only I were better organized or if only I tried harder." Satan tempated Christ with the word if (see Mathew 4:3-11). He often comes to me with the words if only.

"Don't worry about if you have done enough," advises one well-meaning friend. "Rather, ask if what you have done is acceptable to God." The problem with such advice is that I can't figure out how anything less than my all could ever be acceptable. I am told the compaionship of the Spirit will be my assurance when I've done my part. However, if I start beating myself up for not being a better home teacher or helping more with family history, then I can drive the Spirit away pretty quickly.

In those anxious moments, the greatest comfort I have found is in knowing any effort is pleasing to God even if He and I both know it's not my all or my best. It may be far from an acceptable offering, but God accepts it nonetheless because ultimately He is more concerned with the offerer than the offering. Elder Gerald N. Lund wrote: "Remember that one of Sata's strategies, especially with good people, is to whisper in their ears: 'If you're not perfect, you are failing.'. This is one of his most effective deceptions....We should recognize that God is pleased with every effort we make - no matter how faltering - to better ourselves" ("Are We Expected to Achieve Perfection in This Life?" 207).

Often I am the first to acknowledge that my efforts are mediocre at best. But instead of feeling bad about not offering more, I recognize it's a step in the right direction. I remind myself that the word mediocre is from the Latin word mediocris, which means halfway up the mountain. It doesn't describe how far I can go. It just indicates how far I have come. If I am halfway up the mountain and on my way to the top, it is better than being at the bottom and refusing to try. No matter where I am on the mountain, the motivation to climb higher is found not in trying to impress God and Christ with my sacrifices, but in letting their sacrifices be more deeply impressed upon me. (pages 108-109. "The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox)

So maybe this was something that hit me with force and power and won't make as big of a difference to you.....but I think sometimes we all need a reminder that we are climbing upwards - and even if we don't think that we've done enough - Heavenly Father takes our offerings and is grateful for them. He never tells us we aren't enough. He never tells us we aren't doing good enough - when we hear those thoughts and feelings - it's Satan telling us that. We need to tune dang Santan out and listen to our Heavenly Father that tells us we're trying - and trying is what we are required to do.

I hope that these thoughts are something that will help one of you as they did me when I read them. I am so grateful for tender mercies when we are lead to reading something that touches us. I'm so grateful for those little prayers we mutter and are so miraculously answered. I know that my Heavenly Father answers my prayers. I know that my Savior is standing waiting to carry me through my trials and ready to ease the burdens I feel. I know that without a doubt.

That being said - He doesn't take away our trials......sometimes the blessings he has waiting for us are waiting AFTER the trial. I find this scripture evident of this:

Ether 12: 6

6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

We will receive confirmation and reassurance AFTER our faith is tried....that's hard - but I know that if we endure and we continue to trust in our Heavenly Father's plan for us individually (because He has a plan specific for each of us) that we will find that confirmation and witness.

Ok - I'm probably starting to sound a bit preachy - but I shared some of these things with my brother-in-law Coby in his missionary letter today and I wanted to share them with someone else too - in case anyone else needed some of these thoughts I've been led to. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us. He knows our hearts and He knows the best way to bless us with those righteous desires. It's not always the way we think He should bless us, or in the timeframe we thing would be best - but He DOES answer our prayers and pleadings.

I know when Cory and I wanted so desperately to have a family and start having children I was crushed when it didn't happen after several years. I felt that my desire was such a righteous and good desire. I wasn't asking for money, riches, fame - I was begging to be a MOM, for us to be parents! It was something we are commanded to do and I was just asking Heavenly Father to bless us with that chance. But our requests were denied for over 6 years. We were told through priesthood blessings, promptings and feelings that our time would come - but it wasn't yet. Wow that was hard! It was so hard to be told "not yet". But know what? I am SO grateful for those years. I am so grateful for the relationship I developed with my Heavenly Father. We are blessed with trials so we can come closer to our Heavenly Father. We are blessed with heartache so we can turn our pain over to the Savior and learn of the healing power of the atonement.....I hope you'll feel that peace and that reassurance that I KNOW is availble to us because of the gift of the atonement and our Heavenly Father's love.

I am so grateful for the knowledge that we have been blessed with and the faith and trust that we develop. I feel so blessed and grateful.

Feelings of fall

So they say, "A picture's worth a thousand words" - but after looking at these pictures I don't know if that's really true. We went on a drive today to enjoy the fall leaves, and there is only one word to describe it - magical. And yet I look at these pictures and they don't even begin to capture the beauty we experienced. It makes me sad that I couldn't have packed all of you up and taken you with me so you could feel the breathtaking beauty we enjoyed.....

Anyway, yesterday afternoon Cory took the boys with him and our friends Jesse, Hayley and Mikell up into the mountains to see the fall leaves and have an outing. (Some of the pictures are from when he went up yesterday, and some of them are from today. Thanks sweetie for taking some great pictures yesterday!) He came back and told me he just had to take me up because it was so beautiful. So after church we packed up and headed up to enjoy the beauty. We debated back and forth about if we would take our truck, or ride in the ranger. Since it was Sunday we didn't plan to take the ranger at first, but when we decided that we'd be taking the same road/trail whether we had the truck or the ranger - we decided to go with the ranger. We made sure that it was a ranger "drive" instead of a ranger "ride" (a "ride" involves more horsing around, more 4 wheeling and off roading - a "drive" is more like what you would alraedy do in your car - in case you needed a description) - now I feel like I'm justifying our choice of vehicle......

We headed not very far from our house - really close - and as soon as we were in the mountains I could hardly stand the beauty. We kept saying - "Wow!" and "Oh my goodness!" and even the boys would let out a "woah" from time to time. Cory and I both agreed that this was the prettiest drive we had been on in this area. But as I thought about it I really felt like this was the prettiest I had seen fall leaves - ever.

I remembered one other time I felt overwhelmed with the beauty of the fall leaves - a Sunday in September back in 2001. On this particular Sunday I remember feeling overcome with the beauty of the mountains in Provo. It had been a hard week, a really hard week for all of the world really. September 11th had just happened, we were reeling and unsure of so many things. I remember sitting on the lawn of the Provo temple and gazing up to Rock Canyon. I remember feeling like those reds, oranges and firey hues were a message; a message that even through all of the horrible things that were happening - that Heavenly Father loved us. I felt his love, I knew he cared. I didn't understand why those things had happened - still don't completely - but I did know it would be ok, and that the Lord loved us. Looking at those leaves I didn't *think* he loved me - I *KNEW* he did!

Shift back to today - I looked at those leaves and it hit me. I hadn't seen or even felt of the beauty quite like that September in 2001 again - until today. I thought about this past year - this really tough past year - and realized that maybe this extravagant array of colors was meant to hit me that way and be set apart from the fall colors in most years. Maybe the colors of the fall leaves hadn't been that pretty in the years since September 11th, and maybe the beauty this year was extra beautiful. I think I needed that little bit of renewal, or reminder of our Heavenly Father's love.

So this is what I learned in those moments - when we have been through our hardest struggles we are not alone. After we have passed through difficult times there will always be brighter times - always. It might not be immediate, but we will turn the corner and get through it. There will always be golden yellows, fire like reds, and vibrant hues or orange to brighten our world. We might not see the beauty in the middle of the tests and trials - but if we will wait - it will come.

I also had many thoughts about seasons of our lives, and how we are all in different seasons of our lives, we're all at different stages and going through different experiences. I looked at trees that would be right in the same area, and they somehow seemed to be all different. There would be a tree with bright green leaves right next to a golden one, and the one behind it would have oranges and beautiful red shades. Even though those trees all had the same environment, and probably the same experiences - they were all reacting and experiencing it differently. That is how life is too - isn't it? There are people going through the same thing as we are, and are handling it better (or maybe even worse) - but we are all different. I don't know what was in the air - but I seemed to look around and find life lessons all over the place today :)

I felt so much love while we were driving through those beautiful mountains. I felt love from my boys as they snuggled up beside me. I felt love for my husband who took me out to see the leaves even though he had already been out to see them yesterday - because he knew how much they'd make me happy. Most of all though - I felt love from Heavenly Father. He might not have been there to tell me, but when I saw the masterpiece he had painted for us in the mountains it was if I had a whisper in my ear to tell me of His love. I could feel it all around me - surrounding me and my wonderful family.

So if you are blessed to live in an area filled with the beauty of fall be sure you take a few minutes to feel those whisperings. Look for a moment at the masterpiece that is found in the changing of seasons. If you don't live in an area filled with fall leaves, look around yourselves anyway - I know that Heavenly Father finds ways to remind us of his love, and I know He loves all of us.

Trials - The Refiner's Fire

There are many around us who are struggling each day with trials that feel unsurmountable. This little story brings me comfort to know that when we are being tested and tried that the Lord is right there with us. Sometimes we are in the midst of things, and truly in the heat of the fire, but He is with us, helping us to become like Him.

There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three, they came across verse three which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." (Malachi 3:3) This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week this woman called up a silver smith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silver smith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot--then she thought again about the verse, that he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.

She asked the silver smith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silver smith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy--when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you.

Author unknown

Everything is (or will be....) under control

I won't lie - life has been really tough lately. The turn our economy has taken has really taken a toll on our lives, our business. I know it has affected everyone in one way or another, and that is what makes this situation extra hard. It's hard to feel like I am feeling sorry for myself a lot of the time, and then realize that we're not alone and I need to get off my behind and take care of the problems that I can. (And somehow let go of the ones that I can't control).

It's been hard to count on other people, and then have them disappoint and hurt us. It's been hard to see that even though we have been blessed with agency that sometimes the gift of agency means that other's choices can cause us pain. That is a concept that I'm trying to not be upset about....

It's been difficult for me to watch people that I love dearly feel so much pain and frustration and not be able to physically do anything about it. I can pray, I can plead with Heavenly Father to intervene for them - but I can't fix the problem myself. This is part of the lesson I think - learning that I (or we) can't do things all by ourselves. We must turn to the Lord and let Him intervene and help us. And know what? That doesn't mean that He will take the pain away - but that He will strengthen us and comfort us as we struggle through.

I love this painting by Liz Lemon Swindle. I saw it a couple of days ago and I am going to keep the image in my mind. It's a painting of the Lord and his mother. I picture it though that He is comforting her, he is embracing her and hoping to help her feel comfort and peace. He will do that same thing for us if we just ask! He will wrap his arms around us and comfort us - almost so we can physically feel his arms around us!

I am learning though. It's a tough lesson, and there are bumps along the way, but we can find peace when we turn to the Lord and the tools He has given to us. The scriptures for example can bouy us up when we don't think we can do it any more. I have been lead to numerous scriptures over the last weeks that literally jump off the page and call to me - tender mercies that I have felt promted to read and search out.

I am also learning a broader perspective of the Atonement. I heard a talk at BYU Women's Conference that has completly changed my view and feelings about the Atonement. It was by Brad Wilcox and was AMAZING! Check out his book "The Continuous Atonement" for more of his insights - it is inspired.

Through these trials I am finding that I need to learn so many things, but as I learn these things I have had my mind opened to others who struggle even more-so, and yet have a bright hope for the future. Take this blog for instance - Stephanie lifts me up each time I read her thoughts. What an inspiration and a reminder that "Everything is under control". And if it's not yet - it will be....eventually....