Regret....

Saw this on FB this morning...couldn't have said it better myself. I had a little "incident" with my alarm clock this morning and I apparently changed it to go off an hour later.  It all happened somewhere between being asleep and kind of awake in the middle of the night.  I have a very vague memory of it....Bummer too - I was looking forward to running with my buds.  :( 

Inspirational Friends

(This was a journal entry I wrote in October.  After I finished this layout today I wanted to share it with my experience.)

As I started to run in my fist ½ marathon (August 7th, 2010 – Provo Canyon) I knew that one of the only ways I was going to be able to run this race was with the divine help of my Heavenly Father. I also knew that He wanted me to run this race. I felt that the race had been placed in my life for me to succeed at, to give me strength for the trials coming up in my life, and to be a starting point for more physical challenges I might want to undertake in the near future. I had felt from the moment I made the decision to run in the race that it had been an answer to prayers – both my own and prayers of those who love me.

 

But in the moment that the race was about to begin and I started one of the many prayers in my heart for the day I had a thought enter my mind that changed the race for me….and quite possibly changed my outlook and life from that point forward. I had the thought that it was important to pray before a race (I’d had other experiences regarding prayer and running that had proven this to me) – but that if I focused on “Please bless ME to run better. Please take away the pain in MY feet – etc” that I would be focusing entirely too much on myself. In doing that I worried that I might find myself focusing on my difficulties, my pains, and that it might make those things seem worse in some ways. Sure as you run it is important to think about yourself somewhat – I mean who else is going to tell your legs to move, or your lungs to breathe…but I needed to take myself out of the equation for a moment.

 

So as I started the race I decided that from that point on when I needed some help in my running, or needed a distracting thought to keep me from focusing on the difficult task or pain in my body – I would say a prayer for someone else. Instantly I knew what I needed to do. A friend of mine Cathryn Jensen from the Transformation.com group I’m a part of was embarking on a VERY difficult race that day also. She would be doing the Pine Valley 15 mile run. This run made my ½ marathon look like a picnic as the trails were off road, steep, difficult and it was even longer in distance. I knew that Cathryn was nervous about the race and that it was something she was incredibly scared about.

 

So as I began my prayers I prayed that Heavenly Father would bless her with wings on her feet. I asked that she would have a calm mind, that her pains would be eliminated and that she would find the strength I knew she had within herself. If a blister started to hurt I’d pray and ask that Cathryn’s shoes would fit comfortably, that her legs would move strongly and that she would enjoy the time she was having in the beautiful mountains.

 

As I did this I was feeling closer to my Heavenly Father, and I was able to not focus on the hard time I was having. It was so powerful to me. But truthfully after the race I didn’t think too much about it….not until I read Cathryn’s account of the race that she ran. As I read what she had journaled about after her experience it came full circle – it made sense and strengthened my testimony of prayer in a way I haven’t quite experienced before. Here are just a few of the words she wrote about things she learned from her run:

•  Heavenly Father truly does care about our goals and personal accomplishment:
• I have back issues. I injured my back in the MTC (missionary training center) many years ago. My bottom two vertebrae are squished together and push on my sciatic nerve. For many years this has caused me a lot of pain. I have never been able to run more than a couple of miles without stopping to stretch my back out and decompress. I usually complete a run limping because it is just too much pounding pressure for my back to handle. Today, I didn’t have to stop once out of pain. My back didn’t even “twinge” or falter in the least. I have never felt more strength in my back as I did today.
• The last month or so, my right knee has hurt once I hit 5 miles or so of running; not today. Not an ounce of pain.
• I live at sea level in California. Today’s run was at 6500 feet. Not once did I feel like I was gasping for air or struggling to get enough oxygen today. I have felt it every run I have done here in Utah, but not today.
• Today’s weather could not have been more perfect. It was cool (60ish degrees), very overcast, breezy and even sprinkled on us a few times. When I thought to myself, “wow, we are so lucky to have such nice weather this morning” I had a very calm, warm and peaceful feeling penetrate my heart and my soul heard the words, “I did it for you.” (Ok, now I am crying AGAIN just thinking about this. I know what I heard; I heard a loving Father ‘s whisper.)

As I read her account and feelings and the tears flowed freely - I had the strongest rush of gratitude for her experience. SO grateful that she took the time to write about how she’d felt. I felt so strong in my heart, “Those blessings were answers to prayers.” I didn’t have the feeling of “look what you did” – because I didn’t have anything to do with it. I had the feeling of “You looked outside of yourself as you ran – which blessed you. But at the same time it blessed others. We are all so connected and prayers are one of the most important ways of connecting us.” My testimony of prayer exploded that day and I felt such a confirmation of love from our Heavenly Father who wanted Cathryn and I to both have beautiful experiences.

 

So I’ve thought about this experience as I’ve ran other races. I’ve tried to focus on others, tried to think of other people who my need prayers answered (don’t we all???). Because of that my running time has become a sacred time for me. The time when my feet hit the pavement and I feel the fresh air are not only therapeutic for my body – but they are energizing and refreshing for my spirit and my soul. I feel so close to my Heavenly Father and the blessings He is waiting to pour out on me. I find my running time to be truly one of the most spiritual places I can be. I have had inspiration whispered in my ears, feelings brought to my heart and answers literally told to me in my mind. Running is a sanctuary for me and for that I will be eternally grateful.

 

I had the blessing of getting to meet Cathryn in person this past week at the Denver Transformation Conference. As I was leaving the convention on Saturday I had the feeling like I should tell Cathryn about my experience back in August. We would both be running in the ½ marathon the following morning and I felt a strong feeling like I should tell her how her running in Pine Valley had changed my testimony and blessed me for life. I felt a little apprehensive about telling her because I didn’t want to say, “Look at me – I prayed for you.” That just sounded so pompous and proud….so I tried to find the right words and tell her of the experience.

 

As I finished telling her how it had blessed me, and how grateful I was that she shared the blessings she’d felt as she ran she was just so sweet about it. She wiped the tears away and I remember her saying, “You’re making me cry – and I don’t cry!” I loved looking at her face and the sweet, beautiful connection we were able to make. I’m so grateful that my experiences with the Transformation.com community have blessed my life in many, many ways. I am so blessed to have been touched and inspired by many people like Cathryn. So grateful for that!

 

 

Journaling from the layout:

 

One of the highlights of attending the Denver Transformation conference was meeting Cathryn Jensen. Cathryn has been a big inspiration to me through my Transformation journey. She is such a strong and amazing woman and mom. I have learned a lot about hard work and not giving up from her. I got to share with her the experience I had when I ran my first half marathon and how she’d touched me. (She was also running a big race at the same time and I concentrated on praying for her when my own race would become difficult for me. Focusing on someone else while turning my heart to prayer helped me to not focus on my own difficult journey while my heart was drawn out in prayer. I loved giving her a hug and telling her how great I think she is! (October 16, 2010)

 

10-10-10 Run

Hey guys! I got up this morning for my 10k run on 10-10-10! I LOVE running in the mountains and it was a perfect morning for it. Late last night I mapped out my route and Cory dropped me off @ Right Hand Canyon. My route was supposed to end at the scocer fields. While I was running in the canyon I had to be careful because apparently it was a great morning for senior citizens to take a drive....I kept almost getting run off the road by some of the sweetest looking "older" folks. But once I got on the paved path it was nice to turn on my tunes and just enjoy the morning.


I ended up finishing up a bit faster than I had planned, and I was excited about that. But then when I went to log it on "Map My Run" I realized that I hadn't read the map quite right and this meant that I hadn't quite reached my 10K distance (I think I was off about .3 of a mile). Darn it! I was so disappointed! But then I figured up my time and I had done it @ under a 10 minute pace - I was actually around 9 minutes. That felt awesome. So less than a 10K, but less than 10 minutes/mile - so I was happy.

I was actually really bummed that I hadn't planned for a 10 mile run time wise - because I felt great and wanted to keep running. The problem was time and trying to make it to church in time.

Anyway - as I was driving up the canyon I had the radio on and it was playing the "Sounds of Sunday" church music playing. The last song I heard was the Tabernacle Choir singing "Press Forward Saints". It was funny because as I ran the lyrics of that song came back to me. I don't normally get "pumped up" as I listen to church music (in an energetic running kind of way) - but this was different - it was very contemplative. The minute or two when I got tired it was like the good old choir was cheering me on "Press Forward!" :)

I loved thinking about the fact that to celebrate 10-10-10 I was being active and running a 10k instead of having a more typical goal for me which would have been to eat 10 cookies, or 10 different kinds of treates.  Being active and feeling my body moving in a healthy way was much more of a celebration!  Next year on 11-11-11 I'm going to be running 11 miles - it was fun!

Go for the gold!

I am not really a very competitive person. Ok - let me rephrase that - I don't like to compete in things that I don't think I will win. Whether it be scrapbooking related, sports, artistically in any-way - I don't participate in competition normally because I don't want to "lose". That is why in January when I started exercising and running I didn't think I'd ever get into running races. I mean seriously - I wasn't a natural born runner - what was the point if the idea of winning was totally impossible to me?

Now here we are - about 6 months since I started working out and I've been thinking a lot about running, races, winning and ultimately what the point was in all of it.

I went to support Cory in his 10K run yesterday and I just got more and more uptight about the 5K race I'd be running Saturday morning. I watched those awarded with medals, and listened carefully to the times the announcer called out. Wow - these people ran faster than I could ever imagine running! I started listening to that annoying and pesky little voice (a.k.a. the adversary/Satan) in my own head telling me, "You're never going to be as good as they are. Why bother - you're so much slower than they are." You know the whisperings we all hear @ some point or another - telling us we never quite measure up so we might as well not even try?

Then I got wishing that I could wear a t-shirt that said something to the effect of, "Yeah, I might not be that fast - but 6 months ago I couldn't even imagine running a mile - now I'm running in races!!!" I started trying to focus on the PROGRESS I had made and look backward. Not only was I running in a 5K race, I have run several over the last few months. Not only was I going to finish - but I had a goal to run without stopping to walk at all. That was an idea I would have scoffed @ even a month ago. I'm even registered for a Sprint Triathlon for next weekend. That is something that still seems quite nuts - but I'm doing it - and that is huge progress!

So as I drove to the starting place this morning I prayed and prayed that I could quite the negativity and focus on the running. I asked that I would feel light - like I was flying rather than heavy and cumbersome like I had bricks for shoes. I asked that I'd find beauty and goodness as I ran and that I would be able to focus on the progress I was making all over in my life right now. Lastly I asked that this run would be like my 10K in Dallas. In Dallas I felt awesome. At the end I felt like I could have done the 1/2 marathon and I had a total runners high. I wanted to feel light and free like that.

On arrival to the start spot I was frustrated because although I had remembered to charge my ipod, I had brought my Nike+ running tracker and my arm band to wear - I had forgotten my ear phones. Drat! I was looking forward to tracking my time on my ipod. I was really disappointed - I had hoped my music could pump me up when the run was getting harder...I had figured that if negative thoughts creeped into my mind I would shut them up with some Black Eyed Peas or Christina Aguilera cheering me on.

But once I got started I found a new soundtrack to run to - the sounds of others foot-steps. Not just the cadence of my feet, but others around me hitting the pavement was rhythmic and began to feel like music. Then came the harmony - the labored breathing of myself as well as my fellow runners. As we all focused on "good air in - bad air out" our bodies were getting stronger. I found their louder breathing inspiring - helped me breathe more clearly.

At mile marker #1 I realized that the fact my ear phones were @ home was a blessing in disguise - I was feeling very "at one" with my body and my own running rhythm. If I had been jamming to "Eye of the Tiger" or "Lose Yourself" I don't know that I would have connected quite in that same way. I certainly know I wouldn't have caught things like the sound of the rushing water or the cheerful whistling of passing birds. As the volunteer called out our times @ the 1 mile point I knew something was working - I was faster than I normally am! That put even a little more fire in my steps.

The rest of the run went well. The course was mostly downhill and that I'm sure helped my speed and energy. As we came around the corner and the finish was in view I thought for some reason that I had another block to go. When I realized how close I was and looked @ the clock (I was beating my goal by over THREE MINUTES!!!) I knew I had my prayer answered - I literally felt like I was FLYING.

So I didn't WIN the race, or even get a medal - but I felt like I had conquered something so much bigger. I did better than before - I shattered my own personal best. Bigger than that was that I had tried! I had signed up for something hard, I had set a goal and I was reaching it!!! My progress was evident and I felt like a million bucks doing it!

After it was over my friends little boy who also ran it (and won his age group) said, "I prayed last night that I would get a gold medal. My prayer was answered!" I felt like I had won a medal too - not a physical gold one to hang around my neck but an emotional/mental one that will hopefully remind me I did my best and I will continue to progress. That is worth much more than gold!

Hurricane 5K

This weekend was the Hurricane 5K and 1/2 marathon. My friend Alecia was running in the 1/2 marathon so we made plans to go down and support her. My friend Mindy and I were going to run the 5K version of the race and my friend Leslie Groft was going to run the 1/2 marathon with Alecia to help her through it. Mindy ended up not being able to come at the last minute but the other 3 of us went.



It was great weather and a fun trip. We went down the night before and had dinner @ the Texas Roadhouse (yum!) Then we stayed in Hurricane so we could get up early for the race (the buses loaded @ 5:30 am! I ran my race slower than I had hoped (35:40) but I need to remember progress and not perfection. I'm working on it...Then I waited for Alecia and Leslie to run in. It was fun to see some other friends running, see Mindy and her family come to support Alecia @ the end of the race, and feel the energy of the runners and supporters.



Up to the time the race was going to happen I've been thinking about running and where I've come since I started this journey in January. I was actually sad that I wasn't running the 1/2 with the girls. I think it was mostly because of the friendship and experience that I was missing out on. It was a bummer to wait on my own....which is funny because that isn't how I have always felt....Anyway - I got thinking about running. Sure, I was disappointed in my time of the race - but I ran another 5K! If you had told me 6 months ago that I was going to be running on a regular basis - further than a mile - I would have thought you were nuts. But now I'm enjoying it - sometimes even loving it. I have competed in 3 5K races and a 10K! WOW! :)



After the race I got really thinking about "what next?". Do I do a 1/2 marathon, or try for something else? I have decided that I'm going to try to do the Sprint Triathlon in the Utah Summer Games this summer. Last week I got thinking about it actually - and was going to work on getting ready to do it NEXT summer. But after this weekend I got thinking more about it and I think I want to try for it in June.



This is a big deal - a scary deal for me. But at the same time making that decision is empowering and SO exciting. Trying something different, stretching myself, pushing myself, and working towards something that I know will excite Cory and make him proud of me (he's been wanting me to do triathlons with him for almost 10 years now). It feels so great to believe in myself about something like this. In fact, I should asleep right now - but I've been thinking about it and I have excited butterflies.



Anyway - here are some of our pictures from this weekend. I am SO proud of my friend Alecia. I'm blessed to have been going on this "Transformation" journey with friends like her. I'm so proud fo her example and for the drive I watched her have for this race. My heart just swelled with pride when she crossed the finish line. It was also amazing to watch Leslie running with her. Leslie was in major physical pain but did the race for Alecia. I was so touched by her friendship and willingness to sacrafice for a friend. I watched her love for her friends and it touched me! I'm so blessed to have great friends - love them.

Dallas Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon Relay

Cory and I had the chance to go to Dallas Texas for a www.transformation.com conference this weekend (I'll be sure to post more about this - it was AWESOME!!!). The culmination of the event was a 1/2 marathon. I wasn't ready to run a 1/2 but we did it as a relay. Cory was supposed to run the 1st 7 miles and then I'd finish up the last 10K. Well he was "in the zone" and decided to just keep running the whole thing. So he ran 13.1 miles!!!! (the furthest he'd run before at one time was 4 miles on the treadmill!) I was really happy with our running time and we had a great time running together. He wished my legs (or at least my stride) was a little longer - but we made it.

It was great because my brother Jed and his wife Laura live in Forney, TX - not too far from Dallas. So they came and supported us, took pictures (YAY!) and made us feel like rock-stars. We love you guys!!!

I promise - there will be more soon about the race, things I learned, and the awesome stuff from the conference.